My greatest fear in life is that my daughter will get separated from me in public somewhere. (Well I have anxiety so I actually have many "greatest fears in life" but whatever.) She is still only three after all. She will be scared and will have no way of telling anyone who she is or who I am. I've seen temporary tattoos with phone numbers on them, or simply writing your phone number on your child's arm and putting liquid band-aid on top. (This is actually brilliant it won't wash off easily.) That's all well and good, but what about when we're just at the store? What happens when she bolts under the door in the public restroom and is out in the main store before I can get my pants up? I hope this never happens, but my three year old LOVES to mess with me. My mother swears she's not "big" enough to really MEAN to troll me. She is. Oh but she is. I can see it on that little face when she pulls off the master level sass, and I realize I should stop using sarcasm in front of her. It may be the lowest form of wit but it is my favorite. Wait where was I going with this...
Oh yes. My three year old likes to mess with me, and I can't live my life with our phone number plastered on her arm. I mean I COULD but it wouldn't be a great idea. It would feed that narcotic gremlin that lives in my head, make me look SUPER paranoid, or worse like I can't keep a hold of my kid. It's important to note here that she does bolt, but has only managed to actually get away from me like three times. Only once succeeding in getting completely out of my sight. (Thank you random security guard at the airport who watched that horrible game of circumstance unfold and grabbed her while I busted my way through a crowd of people to get her. I make shifted a leash out of a lanyard five minutes later, and bought a real harness as soon as I could. Never again.) Luckily she's mostly grown out of this at this age. Now she just likes to hide or give me heart attacks. Now she does it on purpose, and THAT RIGHT THERE is what worries me my friends.
So what's the best most logical answer to soothe the narcotic gremlin? Why of course! I will teach her our phone number! How in the heck am I gonna teach my kid our phone number? See I first started this plan a couple months back when she was still two. I had read somewhere that you could teach them to memories the keypad and what order that way, but that wasn't good enough for me. No MY daughter would be able to SAY her phone number to anybody who asked. Now how do I do that? At the time my mini me was really into asking everyone what their name was. So I had just taught her her full name. She would often ask me what my name was, so I said what the heck here's my name kid. A stroke of genius hit me as I was telling her my name one day, and I decided. "I will make it a song!" So after a few practice runs we finally came up with a song to learn everything. It goes something like this, but you know a song and without the information retracted....
"My name is blankblank blaaa-ank, my mamma's blankblank blank, my name is blankblank blaaa-ank, and our phone number is: 000-000-0000."
I might one day be brave and sing this in a video for more helpful reference. But whatever...
Anyway we made it a song, and she LOVED that. Within a week I could say. "What's your name?" and she could answer first and last name. (Sometimes she switches it to be funny.) Then I could say. "What's your mamma's name?" and she would say my first and last name. Then we could do this:
"Do you know your name?"
"Blank blank."
"Do you know your mamma's name?"
"Yeah!"
"What is it?"
"Blank blank!"
"Do you know your phone number?"
*a mumbled mixed up version of her favorite part of our number to say*
Hey it was progress! The shinning ray of hope came today though. While sitting at the table she was singing our song a bit. She got our number kinda right but not all together. so I chimed in from my desk. "Can you say it all together?" and she DID IT! She sang the last line of our song perfectly and remembered our phone number! We still have some work to do but y'all she's three. It's a huge step in the right direction and the narcotic gremlin is satisfied and proud today.
So there's a little worry wort, hot mess mom hack for the day. Teach them their name, your name, and their phone number with a song. Parent on y'all, parent on!
